I have realized that lots of times when I miss the mark it’s not just an accident, it’s a conscience decision. I know the way of God. I know where I should be following Jesus. But instead, I take a totally different path. One that is sometimes perverse and disgusting and filled with darkness. Sometimes, all I can think about is me. I’m so selfish. I try to drown out what I’m clearly hearing from Jesus and what I know deep down to be true. It’s like I’m in open rebellion against God. It’s sickening and it makes my Father in Heaven cry. During those times of disobedience, It’s like I’m under a spell where the devil has me convinced that the things of this world are greater than the Way, the Truth, and the Life and it’s a downright lie. I know firsthand that it’s a lie. I’ve experienced God’s love and it is the greatest feeling, far better than anything given to me from this world. At times, I think to myself “How could He forgive me for the things I’ve done to Him?”. I still don’t understand it. God is so full of grace and love and mercy and forgiveness for His children. I can’t comprehend it. He should be ashamed of me and yet he loves me far more than I could ever dream. Unashamed Love! I don’t understand it. I couldn’t live without it.